Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize