my mouth tastes like poor choices
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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