Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Less talking, more tequila
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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