Fuck appropriateness.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
