the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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