your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
