We're like a lot better than the average bears
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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