Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
