best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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