Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize