my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
My liver is preforming stress tests.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
