i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
