Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
As shirtless as possible
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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