I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
