I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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