I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
