It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
