I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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