You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
