At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
that's an acceptable place to lick
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
