There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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