i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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