dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
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