At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
