I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize