she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
