Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
