Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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