i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
