hell yes lets make some ravioli
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
