I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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