Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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