too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
