Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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