Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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