It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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