she was so not down for the gang bang
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
