There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
