I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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