I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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