yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
