Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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