He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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