dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
