Just mADE A PArabola og urine
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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