Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
