D3 body, D1 cock
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
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