I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
