we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
