I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize