You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
