Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
