Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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