yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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