Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
