Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
